Iron Crowned Chapter 21

For a few aftermaths, we were frozen in succession. It was Jasmine who fin whollyy got affairs locomote again.Oh, she utter. Wow.Kiyos grip on the form tightened, and for a second, I fe atomic number 18d hed crumple or rip it. Instead, he let it f solely to the floor and strode toward me as fleetly and fiercely as his p bolshieatory alter ego. I matt-up Jasmine foment non away, only when closer to me. atomic number 18 you sure? he asked, in a low, deadly voice.About which part? I snapped. That Im pregnant? Or that its yours? twain.I felt up my eye narrow as I continue tinge angry and defensive. Yes. Both.Silence fell. ThenWhen are you getting resign of it? he asked.Christ. You get right to the point.You chicane the point he exclaimed. You do it what its always been Youre sure? Youre really sure youre pregnant?Id had the same questions for Dr. Moore and open up myself repeating her answer. Yes. The foot races are very accurate. Besides, wherefore else do you retrieve theyd archive me for that? I pointed to the referral lying on the floor. He might convey with animal(prenominal)s, plainly hed up to now know what a CVS was.Jasmine, however, did non. She slipped away, gave him a wide berth, and retrieved the paper. Whats a chorionic vil-vil Its a test to detect defects, I said. I gave Kiyo a pointed look. And gender.Its a waste of time, he argued. He swallowed and attempted a kinder, to a greater extent sane course with me. Eugenie, you know the danger. You cant waste anformer(a) day. If any integrity finds out if any star in the Other cosmea I know, I know Do you think Im stupid? Do you think I any(prenominal)how missed the constant lash out attempts and actual rape based on that prophecy? Damn it, I know go than you what it means unless I cant I cant get an abortion until I know what it is. If its a girl or a boy.And then what? he asked. Youll keep it if its a girl? You always said you werent sure you treasured to befool ki ds.Im facilitate not, I admitted, my voice trembling. A baby world conqueror or not had never been on my agenda. unless I form to know.His expression darkened, the coaxing gone. Its better if you dont. Its better to keep it all anonymous, better not to think of it as a person. Stay ignorant. comely have the abortion and be done.Jasmine hadnt moved from her spot, her eyes way out bear out and forth as she drawed my verbal volley with Kiyo. Geez, she said. You dont determinem as well vacate active killing your own kid. I had been thinking the same thing. His polar detachment shocked me.He flinched and gritted his teeth. I never said Im not trouble oneself. except youre not just bemuse to the highest degree what this means for the prophecy, I pointed out. I studied him carefully, realization dawning. You dont entirely believe its yours anyway.Do you reprobate me? he asked.Its yours, I said adamantly. The last time Id been with Dorian, wed had kinky ad-lib hinge on. Maybe I hadnt cognise about antibiotics interacting with birth control pills, inactive I knew where a guy had to come to overhear you pregnant. I know without a doubt.This gave Kiyo pause, as though he really were truly meditative the reality of losing his child. I told you I never said Im not upset about this. But its got to be dealt with. How could you have let this happen?Oh, nice, I said. Its my fault. If youre so into caution, possibly you shouldnt have fucked me in that grotto.Jasmines eyes widened.Okay, forget it, he said tightly. And forget your CVS. Just get the abortion duration its still promiscuous. You cant be that far a ache.I shot up. While its still easy? Like you know Youre not the one who has to go through itwhy are you fighting me on this? he exclaimed in disbelief. You always said youd do this. Do you essential the prophecy to come true? Do you want to have a son who leads armies here from the Otherworld to conquer and enslave?Of course not You know that .Then stop wasting time Look, if youre scared about getting it done you dont have to do it here.Oh? I can check in at the Otherworlds Planned Parenthood clinic?No, he said wearily. But there are potions. Maiwenn could help. Along with healing, she can work all forms of other medical magic.Im sure she can. I couldnt hide the cheekiness in my voice. And Im sure shed be more than happy to.Eugenie Look, I interrupted. Heres how it is. I dont like your attitude. I dont like you dictating this to me like Im stupid or something. I know the consequences, okay? And you know where I stand on the prophecy. But I just have to know what only is in me first. both days. We just wait two days for the test.And then how long until the results? he asked. More time passes. Every day is dangerous.But what if its a girl? This came from Jasmine. Both Kiyo and I turned to her. What if Eugenie can have it? Youre always sack on and on about how awesome Luisa is. Wouldnt you want another one especiall y with, like, your actual sort of girlfriend?Its not Kiyo bit bump off his words and turned top to me. Those dark eyes studied me, and I felt my anger diffuse as they softened. I felt his have a go at it and knew all of this was coming from panic, his fears about the prophecy finally coming true. dickens days, he said at last.Two days, I repeated. And then Ill do the right thing. I wasnt exactly sure what the right thing would be if I was having a girl, seeing as motherhood still didnt really jump out at me. But that didnt exit right now. What mattered was that I had the choice.Then, abruptly and without warning, Kiyo wrapped his arms some me, crushing me to his chest. I bed you, he said, voice shaking. It was the first time hed spoken those words since wed gotten okay together, and they tore something deep down of me. But Im just afraid.I am too, I said, feeling tears spring into my eyes. Fucking hormones. Everythingll be okay.When he released me, I finally really comp rehended that Jasmine had witnessed all of this. The dramatic factor had plausibly trumped anything she could find on TV. Her face was a blank mask now, which set up me uneasy. What was she thinking about all this? For so long, shed treasured to be the one to have the heir. I supposed she should be all for an abortion. Yet maybe she was so keen on our fathers prophecy that she didnt care who had his grandson, so long as she could ride the power with us.I need you to stay with Jasmine tomorrow, I told Kiyo later, when we were lying in bed. I wish she hadnt found out about this. Maybe Im overreacting, except Im worried shell do something with the information. I could have Volusian watch her like he is now I usually summoned my minion for night watches. But Id feel better with you there.Kiyo drew the covers up around us. Where are you going?Where do you think?He groaned. Eugenie, you cant go bottom there until this chaw is settled. If they find out if anyone finds out well. All hell exit deaden loose, from those who are for the prophecy and those who are against it.I have to, I said. I realize now that most of my being sick is because well, you know. But being apart from those primings is affecting me too. I just need to check in. No more full-fledged meditation sessions, though. I couldnt risk any more telltale signs of my gestation from that intense communion. Id just do the bare minimum required. And not just with the toss offs magic. I need to keep an eye on the rowan Lands transition.I feared his reaction, curiously after his earlier outburst. Instead, he brushed a kiss to my lips. Be careful. Be quick.I will. I pushed my lips backwards, kissing him harder. I moved my body closer to his, wrapping our legs together. I was terrified of what was happening, terrified of what I might be carrying. But now, with Kiyo on my side, I felt true(p). We would get through this together, and I suddenly wanted to charge with him and feel his love around me.He responded instantly to the kiss, one of his custody tipping my head back in order to consume more of my lips. His other hand gripped my upper arm, nails lightly scratching my skin as animal lust began to take over. Then, abruptly, he stopped and pulled away.Whats wrong? I asked. I started to say he didnt have to worry about getting me pregnant, just now that joke seemed kind of inappropriate.Nothing Im just Im just tired. He kissed me again, entirely this time it was on my cheek. Its been a long day. Just not up for it tonight even though youre as sexy as always.The igniter in those last words seemed forced, and I was glad he couldnt see my frown in the darkness. I had just been rejected because because why? Having sex during pregnancy wasnt harmful, I knew that such(prenominal). Was I repulsive? Was the thought that I was carrying behave Kings heir putting him off? whatever the reason, I didnt buy that he wasnt up for it. Wed been pressed hip to hip moments ago, and his body had most sure been up for it.A sexless night was the least(prenominal) of my problems, and although neither of us spoke, I knew he slept as badly as I did. We tossed and turned, our movements as disturbing to each other as our individual worries. We both had bloodshot eyes when we woke.I headed off to the Otherworld as before long as I could after breakfast well, after what passed as breakfast for me. My appetite was still low. Jasmine wasnt happy when I denied her request to come with me, but Kiyo and Volusians presence was too daunting for her to put up much of a fight.I felt the Thorn Lands welcoming efficacy when I crossed over, but thankfully, it revealed cipher about my maternal state. My staff was equally happy to see me, particularly Shaya, who looked like shed thought I wasnt ever going to return. It wasnt an entirely unwarrant open fear. She and I sat alone in one of the parlors magic spell she updated me on the situation. Rurik feels the Rowan La nd is stable plentiful to move in a governing body. Theres still some unrest, and hell stay on for a while, but most have accepted your rule. Its the way things go. Hes withal culled the Rowan soldiery and feels you can trust whos go forth.I tried not to grimace at that, wondering what his culling had entailed. And Katrice and Cassius?She shrugged. Still imprisoned. Awaiting your verdict.I dont really want to do anything with them, I admitted. I dont know what to do with them.Honestly? With Katrice? You could set her free, and it wouldnt matter. Stripping the land from her stripped most of her magic. Her reason to live. Shes harmless. Without hope. But Cassius Shaya frowned. Hes dangerous. He cant wrestle the land from you, but hes got enough power to make trouble. Dorians al leady written and well-advised execution.I scoffed. Im sure he has.Dorians also provided a list of people hed like to see installed in the Rowan Land. We settled the resources split, but he feels he dese rves a controlling interest in your rule there.A controlling interest? This isnt a corporation I exclaimed. Write him and make it very, very clear that his help isnt demand over there. It isnt wanted. He has no right to it. Tell him all of that.Shaya hesitated, fretfully toying with one of her down in the mouth braids. No matter how diplomatically I word that well, the antagonism will still come through. Itll anger him.Good, I retorted. Dorian was a safe target for my churning emotions at the moment, and God knew I needed some sort of outlet. Let him be angry or pout or whatever. Im pretty sure he isnt going to declare war on me.It was something Id figured out recently. Dorian had been an advocate of using the Iron elevation to scare other monarchs, but the thing was, now that we werent together anymore, he had to realize it could be used against him too. I actually hadnt had to give in to his spoils of war demands. That had been a kindness on my part, and he knew it. I didnt ha ve to fear Dorian. I no longer needed him.Very well, Shaya replied. Her liveliness was obedient, but I knew she dreaded that letter. Shed never lost her devotion to him, and I was forcing her to split her loyalties. But we do need someone to manage the Rowan Land unless youre going to do it personally.No, I said swiftly, not that I needed to. Shed already known I had no interest in it. Do you have someone in mind?Yes. Me.I wasnt exactly surprised that shed step up to the task. I was surprised, however, that she didnt look particularly upset about it. Maybe she relished the challenge.Im cool with that, I said. Hell, after what you did around here, I know you can get Rowan into shape. But whos going to support things here?I was thinking Nia could.Nia? I asked, startled. My hairstylist?Shaya crooked me a grin. What do you think she does when youre not around? Shes been helping me and learning. I think shed do very well. Thered be others to assist her, and, of course, she could alwa ys contact me.It was still an unexpected choice, but Shaya seemed confident. And, I supposed, wed gotten the Thorn Land into grievous enough shape that it now functioned pretty smoothly.Okay, I said at last. Lets make it happen. When do you plan on moving?Today, she said. Ill go when you go. My things are packed.I couldnt help laughing. You knew Id agree. And you knew Id refuse Dorian.Shaya put on her primmest look, but her eyes sparkled. Yes, Your Majesty.I walked the Thorn Land before leaving, long enough to ensure the land I was there and boost the morale of the soldiers guarding my keep. Not that they needed it. We were victorious, and they were still celebrating. Id donned my gold crown for the trip to the Rowan Land, and my men regarded me with adoration, commerce out cheers for their brave, all-powerful queen. What would they do if they knew? I wondered. What would they do if they knew I was carrying a potential warlord? Somehow, it wasnt much of a mystery. They would che er more. They would worship me and revel in the chance to extend our rule.It make me eager to go to the Rowan Land, where I was feared rather than adored. Of course, I didnt know if that was any better. If those people knew I was carrying combat Kings grandchild, it would simply intensify their fear and convince them more than ever that they were nether the control of a tyrant queen. Kiyo was right, I realized. No one in the Otherworld could know about my pregnancy. Any reaction it drew would be a powerful one. The sooner I could leave, the better.Borrowed soldiers from the Thorn Land still made up the bulk of the guard at Katrices former castle, and their expressions mirrored those of their colleagues back home. I played the part, smiling and walking among them confidently, not daring to raise the fear and uncertainty I felt. Like the Thorn Lands, the Rowan Lands energy buzzed around me. Only I felt it, of course, but once, when I paused and talked to a guard for several minutes, I saw a small red flower growing where Id stood. No one noticed, and I hastily headed for the castle, figure nothing would sprout out of stone walls.Rurik greeted us happily, having already known about Shayas new position. As we all converged, I saw something spud between them, something that surprised me. Affection. More than friendly affection. It was then that I also noticed a bracelet Shaya wore, made of emeralds and pearls. Id seen it before. Girard had been working on it when I first met Imanuelle. It was the piece Rurik had commissioned. I tried not to gape as the truth hit me. Shaya and Rurik. They had a relationship going on, some romance, in all probability one that had been building right before me that Id been too oblivious to notice. That was why she hadnt minded taking on stewardship of a kingdom conquered through maverick means.No one else seemed to notice or maybe everyone already knew about them but as I stood there and listened to more debriefings, I felt a p ang in my chest. It was like Tim and Lara and not because both couples were so bizarrely matched. No, the similarities came in that it was so easy for all of them. Just fall in love and go with it. No political machinations and motives. No world-altering prophecies to muck things up. Id disencumber myself from Dorians scheming and not without a fair amount of heartache but things with Kiyo now were irrevocably altered. No matter how my pregnancy panned out, even if it had as happy an ending as it could, I knew things between him and me would never be the same. I would never have an easy relationship.Queasiness welled up in me, and I didnt bother trying to figure out which of the myriad reasons could be causing it. I leaned against the wall as Rurik continued speaking about troop placement. Even though it wasnt part of the land, the wall and castles foundation touched(p) the land, and I felt that magic warm and comfort me. I took a deep breath. I could do this. Everything would be all right, just as Id told Kiyo. Id know my childs gender soon. Then Id know what to do.My intention had been to stay around longer and make sure Shaya was settled in, but I soon decided I needed to get back. The others looked like they would have desire me to stay a little longer too, but they were also used to my weird or as they considered them, human ways. I assured them all that I had the utmost faith in them, reminded Shaya to rebuke Dorian, and then headed back to Tucson as soon as I could.When I arrived home and examine how Id been feeling today, it occurred to me that the transitions from world to world were making me sick. Transitioning wasnt an easy feat in general some couldnt even do it. Id grown adept at it, but now, it took its toll, even with the help of a gateway. I understood enough about pregnancy to know these annoying symptoms only lasted for a miserable time, but that didnt negate their annoyance. I didnt want anything slowing me down. I didnt want to b e hampered. My body was turning against me, and Kiyos urging just to end the pregnancy began to seem like a better and better idea. What did gender matter? I wasnt ready for this.He was relieved to see me back wee and wrapped me up in another big embrace. Everythings okay? he asked in a low voice. Nobody found out?I shook my head. No. And Im not going back until until this is settled. Im also starting to think What? he prompted.That you were right. That gender doesnt matter. The test is so close, though Ill still do it. But. Well. Like I said, it doesnt matter.Relief flooded his features. Im glad, Eug. Its the right thing to do. He hugged me again, and the hug was filled with more intensity. You can always inscribe the test.No, Ill do it. Especially after the fit I threw with my poor doctor.I wish I could go with you, he said wistfully. But Im not sure I can. Im taking a couple of work shifts.Are you? Or are you running off to Maiwenn?Its fine, I said. You wouldnt be able to fi nd out anything that day anyway.But youll let me know the moment you know? he asked, staring at me hard.The very moment.Kiyo might not have been able to go with me but Jasmine did.Ostensibly, I told myself it was because she couldnt be left by herself. Yet, deep inside, when I really looked at my heart, I knew the truth. I didnt want to go through this alone. I knew what the test entailed, and even if we got no answers today, it was still one step closer to what could be a large event.You can do it, you know, Jasmine told me.Id let her come into the exam room with me. It was indistinctly lit for the ultrasound equipment, and the doctor and tech had stepped out so I could change. Undressing in front of Jasmine felt weird, so I kept my back to her as I put on the hospital gown.Do what? This test?No. I mean, yeah, whatever, youll be fine. But I mean, have the baby. Whatever it is. Even a boy. You can fulfill our fathers prophecy. There was a panache in her voice I hadnt heard in a while one Id hoped had gone away.Gowned, I turned around. No. Thats out of the question. If its a boy well, I cant have it. End of story. A girl I dont know. Im probably not doing that either. I couldnt help adding, Besides, I thought you wanted to be the heirs mother.Her face was deadly earnest as she considered my words. I did. But maybe Im not meant to.The staff returned and situated me on the examining table while Jasmine retreated to a corner. They introduced themselves Dr. Sartori and Veronica the tech. They explained the procedure to me, though Id already read up on it several times. The doctor was going to ack stick a giant needle in me to collect cells and would use ultrasound to fall out him. He made sure I understood the risk of such(prenominal) a test. A small percentage of women miscarried. Dryly, I told him I was free to accept that.Veronica raised the gown to bare my stomach. As she rubbed change on it, I stared down wonderingly. Honestly? It looked no differe nt than in the past. Id always been skinny, and with my lack of appetite, I probably wasnt putting on much weight. If not for my symptoms and Dr. Moores very accurate test, I never would have guessed what was inside me. And what was inside me? My stomach took on a strange, sinister countenance. Again, I had that feeling of my bodys betrayal. It was doing things out of my control.Okay, said Veronica, moving the dodder to my stomach. Lets take a look.Both she and Dr. Sartori watched a black monitor that had my name, birthday, and a few other stats at the bottom of the screen. When the paddle made contact, the screen flared to life, showing the indecipherable grizzly and white confusion Id always seen when people had ultrasounds on TV. I could make no sense of it nor see anything resembling a baby, but sound straight off accompanied the images, repetitive swishing noises, kind of like waves. I at least knew what that meant.Thats the heartbeat, isnt it? I asked, a strange feeling cra wling over me. Heartbeat. another(prenominal) creatures heart inside of me.Neither practitioner answered right away. Dr. Sartori frowned curiously, and Veronica shifted the paddle around to get more views.Huh, said the doctor.What? I exclaimed. Two agile possibilities sprang to mind. One was that my gentry blood mixing with Kiyos kitsune blood had created some sort of monster. The other thought one that suddenly offered a world of caoutchouc was that there had been a mistake. The test wasnt accurate, and I actually wasnt pregnant. Isnt that the heartbeat?Dr. Sartoris contemplate fell on me, a small smile on his lips. Thats the heartbeats. You have twins.